


Gasp

by Rainne



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Banned Together Bingo 2020, Brief Mention of Suicide, Gen, Masturbation, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainne/pseuds/Rainne
Summary: Steve does something stupid.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Gasp

He took a deep breath. Everything was ready. He checked his watch: plenty of time before his mom got home.

The looped belt hung over the exposed pipe, directly over the tall stool he’d brought down from the kitchen to the basement specifically for this purpose. He took another deep breath.

He climbed up onto the chair and took yet another deep, nervous breath, then dropped the loop of the belt over his head. It rested hard against his shoulders and he swallowed hard, nervous. He’d looked this up, studied it, found all the ways to make it as safe as possible, and now was the moment. He knelt down on the stool and leaned forward just a little bit, adjusting the belt, drawing it tight around his neck. Then he leaned forward a little more, and then a little more.

There – there it was. The press, the pull – that was it.

He reached down with trembling fingers and unzipped his pants, shoving his hands into them and grasping his cock, stroking firmly as he leaned a little harder and then a little harder into the pressure, the squeeze.

He felt himself get a little lightheaded – he felt his cock pulse. He squeezed, stroked harder. Oh yeah, this was good. This was _really_ good. He leaned forward a little more.

He stroked and stroked, and felt a slight wheeze in his breath. Usually he would worry about it, but in this case he knew what was causing it and it wasn’t his asthma, so he ignored it, focusing more on the hard, hot throb of his cock and the tingling in his fingers.

The blackness at the edges of his vision didn’t even register.

He wheezed more, stroked harder, and he was almost there, almost on it when his balance shifted and he rolled forward, his free hand waving desperately. It was no good – there was nothing to grab and he was caught. If he jumped forward off the stool, he’d break his neck, but there was nothing to grab, no way to pull himself up, nothing to –

“Steve? Steve, Jesus Christ, what the fuck?!”

That voice – oh God, Bucky, it was Bucky, Bucky’d _found_ him, Bucky was _saving_ him just like always, Bucky was –

Bucky was _crying_ even as he pulled Steve backward, dragged the belt off his neck, clenched his fists and wrapped his arms around Steve’s torso, pulling him close. “Don’t do it, Steve, please, Jesus, don’t do it, what the _fuck_ , man?”

“Don’t – ” Steve coughed, gripping at Bucky’s shoulders, and raised one hand to rub at his throat. “What – ”

“Steve, please, please, come on, get down from there.” Bucky manhandled him down off the stool and over to the broken-down couch across the basement, sitting him down and then going to his knees in front of him. “What’s the matter, buddy? Talk to me! I knew the guys at school picked on you but I didn’t think things were this bad!”

And suddenly Steve realized what Bucky thought. “No!” he exclaimed, his voice rough, grabbing at Bucky’s hands. “I wasn’t trying to – no!”

“What, then?” Bucky asked, staring at him, his eyes so huge the whites showed all around the irises. He gripped Steve by the biceps and shook him. “What the _fuck_ , Steve?!”

“I was – it was…” Steve paused, swallowed hard around the heavy scratch in his throat, and pulled his t-shirt down to cover his unzipped crotch. “It’s a… thing I read about,” he managed, his face flaming red.

Bucky looked down at Steve’s lap, then up at Steve’s face, and then fell backward onto his ass, covering his face with his hands. It gave Steve enough time to tuck himself away before Bucky lifted his face again. And now, instead of freaked out, he was…

Oh. He was _mad._

“Are you _fucking stupid_?!” Bucky demanded. “Don’t you know how many people _die_ doing that shit?”

“I was _careful –_ ”

“Yeah, so careful I caught you _hanging yourself_ , you fucking _asshole_!” Bucky exploded. “If I hadn’t walked in here, you’d be _dead_ right now!”

And that was true – Steve had to admit it. He looked down at his knees. “Yeah,” he admitted softly. “Thanks for… for, uh. Saving my life.”

“You’re welcome,” Bucky said, dryly sarcastic. “I’m telling your mom about this.”

“What? No!” Steve’s head shot up again, his face going pale with horror. “No, you can’t tell her, she’ll – ”

“Freak out? Yeah, I know. Kill you? Maybe. You deserve it. She needs to know how fucking stupid you are.”

“No, Bucky, no, you can’t tell her! You can’t!”

Bucky worked his jaw for a minute. “Fine,” he said. “But you have to swear to me you’ll never try anything like this again.”

“I swear, I swear!”

“And you’re going to have to figure out how to explain the bruising on your neck, too,” Bucky added, saving the best for last. “I’m not helping with that.”

Steve’s hands went to his throat. “Oh, _fuck_ ,” he whispered to himself, jumping up and running for the bathroom to look at the mirror. There was undeniably a bruise on his neck. “Shit.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Bucky got up on the stool and pulled the belt down off the exposed pipe; then he coiled the belt and tossed it at Steve when Steve came out of the bathroom. “You’re a dumb motherfucker, you know that?”

Steve looked rueful. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I know.” He crossed the room and grabbed Bucky’s hand. “Thanks for saving me, man.”

“You’re welcome,” Bucky said gruffly. “Don’t fucking waste my effort.”

**Author's Note:**

> For the Banned Together Bingo 2020 prompt "autoerotic asphyxiation".


End file.
